Truth's Consequence
by GraphXButterfly
Summary: Kathryn and Chakotay finally act upon their feelings, but will their truthfulness to each other have outlasting consequences?
1. Stormy Night

Truth's Consequence

Chapter One: Stormy Night

Summary: Kathryn and Chakotay finally act upon their feelings, but will their truthfulness to each other have outlasting consequences?

A/N: This story is rated M for a very good reason, if you are under age or are easily offended please do not read. I have written it as tastefully as I could and still get the feelings across. Anyway you have been warned!

-=/\=-

Kathryn lay in bed, her blankets wrapped tightly around her. The wind was blowing fiercely outside the cabin in which she occupied. This wasn't exactly how she'd wanted to spend shore leave.

She shivered and curled into more of a ball. The room was freezing but there was little that could be done. She'd tried in vain to use the heater, but just as it would began to warm up a violent gust of wind would cause another power fluctuation.

She sighed and starring out the window at the alien trees dancing wildly in the wind, casting mincing shadows caused by the small amounts of moon light that managed to break through the clouds, she wondered how the others in her crew that were on the surface were fairing. Had she had any idea that the surface conditions were going to be like this she would have never authorized shore leave, let alone taken it herself.

The storm had come up so quickly. There was literally no warning, if there had been she would have transported back to the ship immediately. Now all she could do was hope that everyone had found shelter and try to pass the time until the storm passed. That was of course far easier said than done.

She was finding it very difficult to sleep. The sound of the wind knocking things around outside and the rain hitting the metal roof made it very difficult to wind down. Oh how she longed for a hot bath, but she knew with the threat of lightning strikes that was a very bad idea.

Hours past and she was nearly asleep when a strange sound outside on the front porch of the cabin startled her. She quickly pulled herself out of the bed and made her way towards the door. She didn't have a tricorder or a phaser with her. She didn't feel that she would need either, but now she regretted that decision. She lifted the heaviest object that she could find and carry in one hand. Opening the door she held it up.

She dropped the item as soon as she realized what, no rather who was there. "Chakotay" she stated very startled.

"Hey, sorry to intrude like this," he paused for a moment still standing outside on the porch. He was soaked from head to toe. His hair clung to the top of his head; his teeth could be heard clattering as he spoke. "Can I come in?" He asked.

Kathryn's eyes grew wide as she realized that she was keeping the poor half drowned man outside. "Oh yes of course," she said moving aside so that he could get out of the elements. "What are you doing down here?" she asked, she helped him to remove his top layer of clothing. She had to watch herself and keep herself from gasping when it was removed. His under clothes too were soaked and clung to nearly every part of his body.

Despite her best efforts she couldn't help but look him completely over from head to toe and everywhere in between as he spoke. "Well I was due to return to the ship earlier today, but my tour of the great caverns turned a little rocky so to speak when our guide slipped and fell. He ended up needing a rescue. By the time we got out of the caverns the storm had already moved in." he stated, he hadn't noticed her looking over every part of his chiseled body that was evident through his thin underclothes. "I didn't know where to go, I was told to find shelter, I came to the first cabin I saw." he paused then a smile crossed his lips. "I'm glad that it was yours and not some stranger."

She laughed, oh how she could only imagine if it'd been someone else that he'd come across. She could see that he was freezing; the storm had been going on for quite a while. He must have been exposed to the elements for hours. "We should probably get you out of these wet clothes" she stated. She had started to walk back towards the door to the only bedroom in the cabin.

"Um, Kathryn I don't have anything to." he stopped when he saw her return with a large white robe.

"This came with the room, I think it's supposed to be one size fits all, but the Narkins are far larger in size then I." she stated handing it to him. "The bathroom's through the sleeping area." she told him.

He nodded and made his way to change. While he was gone Kathryn sat down on one of the only two chairs in the cabin. She silently chided herself for looking him over the way that she had. Looking around a new worry crept into her mind. Where was he going to sleep? There was only one bed and the chairs; well there was no way that he could sleep in them. She also couldn't have him sleep on the floor. They were all hard wood; there also really wasn't enough bedding to set up a completely different sleeping area.

She looked up as she heard him re-enter the main living area. She smiled at him, the robe thankfully fit well. It more then covered the important areas. Standing up she walked towards the kitchen nook, "are you hungry?" she asked. Her host had been kind enough to have stocked her up on all of their delicacies.

He took the seat that she hadn't been sitting in. He too had noticed the lack of sleeping accommodations, though he wasn't going to say anything just yet. "Actually I am." He stated, smiling in her direction. He'd been out in the storm for quite a long time, and was glad to finally be warm.

She returned with a plate that contained some muffin time items. "I'm not sure exactly what these are, but I'm told they are a prized treat." She offered him one he took it as she took the other seat. Taking a bite she closed her eyes, they were wonderful.

"Wow, I can see why, this is delicious." He grinned as he watched her enjoy the muffin. She was so beautiful, he only wished that she'd let him in to her life. They had been so very close on New Earth, but unfortunately they returned to get them just a bit too soon. The sensual look on her face as she savored the flavor of the muffin started to get to him. He quickly looked away towards his own muffin trying to avoid the effect that she was having on him.

A feeling of euphoria had started to overcome her. Her whole body began to tingle, she wondered for a moment if it weren't the food that was causing it. She dismissed the idea because they were just so delicious. Chakotay too had the same feeling, but he like her dismissed it.

After a little while she realized that she'd eaten three of the twelve muffins herself, and Chakotay had had four, "I think that we should put the rest away so we have some for later." She laughed, she was feeling very relaxed, and it seemed that her skin was crawling, every brush of fabric and every touch of the floor seemed to send shivers down her spine.

Chakotay gazed after her, he too was feeling odd, everything seemed to be heightened, the smell of her perfume, the whoosh of air that ran past him when she walked by. She was having one adverse effect on him, and he hoped that she'd figured out some other sleeping arrangement.

She came back into the room, and was giddy, her walk wasn't quite stirght either. "Kathryn just what do you think were in those muffins?" he asked, sending her a look.

"I'm not sure, but they sure were good." She was acting almost tipsy.

He laughed, "I think that we might be drunk" he stated realizing that she was slurring her words slightly.

"We are not Chakotay." She noticed his words were somewhat slurred as well. She paused for a moment and thought, when she heard herself speak, "okay maybe a little tipsy, no actually I think just really relaxed and tired."

He looked at her for a moment, "actually you're right I'm feeling tired too, maybe we should call it a night?"

"I think that's a good idea." She stood and walked towards the other room, the sway that she had was intoxicating.

She looked in his direction, "are you coming?" she asked pausing and leaning somewhat seductively on the door frame.

"Umm," he still hadn't gotten up.

"Chakotay, there is nowhere else to sleep but the bed, we're just going to have to share it." She'd crossed her arms in front of herself and peered back in his direction. "Besides I don't have enough blankets to set up something on the floor, if I were to try we'd both freeze."

He smiled slightly and stood, he really didn't want to be put in this position, but unfortunately he didn't have much of a choice, she was right. Though the wind had died down some it was still very stormy outside, and the cabin wasn't very warm. She was the first one in the room, and had taken the right side of the bed, he climbed into the left.

She'd decided it was best to leave her satin robe on, she had a night outfit but she hadn't originally been expecting company so her outfit wasn't much more than a thin satin spaghetti top and a pair of shorts that wasn't much more then underwear, she also had opted not to have any undergarments on below because it was just far more comfortable to sleep without them.

She turned the lights off, and snuggled into her pillow. Her skin seemed to be crawling, she could feel the heat from his body, and it seemed that she could almost hear his heart beating. She sighed as the blanket moved across her shoulder; she could feel him shifting position on the bed. She swallowed, she felt more attracted to him at that moment then she'd ever felt before.

He could feel himself swell at the sound she made. He closed his eyes trying to will the thoughts to leave. She had no idea what she did to him, and being this close to her, laying in the same bed under the same covers was pure torture. He knew that he couldn't act upon his feelings, but oh how he longed to turn around, reach around her and pull her to him. He swallowed trying to banish the thoughts away, they most certainly weren't helping his situation any.

She twisted some in the bed, she was finding it impossible to try to sleep, his proximity was nearly too much for her to handle. She just wanted to turn around, wrap her arm around his waist and snuggle into his back. To run her hands up and down his shoulders, and then across his chest, take his mouth into hers. She stopped herself, as her breath caught in her throat, she had been about to moan but had managed to catch it before she did. She briefly wondered if he were having similar thoughts. Subconsciously her hand drifted down her body, across her chest first down her stomach, and then paused at the juncture to her legs. She wished so hard that she could just turn around and take his hand not hers and show him what she wanted.

He could feel her shifting around, she was restless. Part of him wondered if it was because he was in the bed with her. He needed to move, he turned on to his other side, facing her back. As he attempted to get comfortable his hand accidently brushed her back.

She gasped at the sudden contact and let out a slight sigh before she could stop herself, she shivered, the feeling of his touch sending shockwaves throughout her entire body until they finally settled to where her hand was hovering just over. She swallowed hard, she knew he'd heard her, she didn't dare move. She knew that she should stand up make an excuse say she needed to use the restroom, something to get out of there. But, she didn't want to, what she really wanted to do was turn into him. She'd been thinking it and then found that she was doing it, she was turning her body into his.

Chakotay held still, he'd realized that he'd crossed the line when he'd touched her, broached her personal space. He hadn't been intending on doing so, but never the less he had. He could feel her moving, 'that's it she getting up' he thought to himself. He was then surprised when she shifted into his arms, he looked down to her his eyes narrowing, she was looking up at him, "Kathryn?" he whispered not sure what he should do.

She looked up into his deep brown eyes; she could see his longing, a sight that she'd seen on too many occasions. She reached her finger up and pressed it to his lips, "shh" she said before lightly tracing his lips and then down his neck to his chest, she parted the robe slightly so that she could have contact with his skin. She felt him shudder.

He had to stop her, what had made her decide that now was a good time, he stopped for a moment; maybe it was the muffins? "Kathryn," he said once again as he took her hand into his, "we."

She cut him off by raising her head to take his lips; it was a long sensual kiss, full of everything that she'd been denying him. She pressed up against his body; she could feel how much he wanted her pressing at her stomach. She smiled as she released his lips; he was having just as much difficulty as she was.

The kiss had left him dumb, he prayed that it wasn't just a onetime thing; he leaned into her and took her mouth once more. This kiss was far deeper full of every ounce of passion he had for her. He wrapped his arms around her running them up and down her back. He turned onto his back bring her with him, she was now atop him.

His touch seemed to leave a trail of fire down her spine, she wanted closer contact. She broke the lip contact and took the sash from her robe; she dropped it onto the floor next to her. She saw him swallow as he watched her. It was more then he could stand; he reached up and helped to remove the offending robe, followed by her thin night shirt.

He gazed at the beauty before him; she was so lean and pale. He reached up and pulled her close to him again, needing to feel her. His hands trailed down her now bare back to her sides. He took her mouth once more as he pushed her only reaming garment off, she'd straddled him and could feel him pressing against her thought the robe as she kicked off her bottoms.

She broke the kiss once more, she wanted him to be as free and open as she was, she quickly grabbed for the tie that held his robe together. She undid it and shrieked as he moved into a sitting position to push it off himself. Still sitting he pulled her into him, crushing her breasts against his bare chest. The feeling of being wrapped up in his arms was almost too much, she nestled her head into the crook of his neck. She could feel him lift her up. She wrapped her legs around him and her arms around his neck.

He'd moved to his knees so that he could remove the last of his clothing with the one hand that wasn't supporting her. He sighed as he felt himself be freed from his boxers. He leaned back onto the bed, and she placed her legs on either side of him. She took his hands into hers and placed them on her chest, encouraging him to explore. She sighed when he obliged her. She arched her back and pressed them into his hands, the feeling was exquisite. He was so gentle and loving.

She felt the need to be fulfilled and reached back with her hand to take him. He gasped at the sudden contact then bucked slightly. He was close just thinking about the fact that she was about to do what she was going to do. She was more than ready, it'd been a very long time, and he was so intoxicating that she didn't need much foreplay. She stilled herself and locked eyes with him. She'd moved to where she was hovering just above his shaft. "Kathryn?" he asked looking deeply into her eyes, he wanted to make sure this was what she wanted, though it was rather obvious that she did.

She ignored him and lowered herself down; she leaned forward and captured his lips. She sighed loudly into his mouth, and gasped as he bucked, a primal groan escaped from his lips at the feeling of her surrounding him. She stilled for a moment relishing in the feeling of being filled. Tears of joy had formed in her eyes, she'd longed for this moment for so long.

Once she'd adjusted to his size she began a slow steady pace, she'd leaned back up moving up and down on him. Her head was tossed back as he explored each breast; he slowly traced his way down her sides to the junction where they were joined. He watched her face as he worked. The pace that had started off slow became furious she arched her back with every movement. He bucked his hips, as she met him thrust for thrust. Their steady rhythm slowly dissolved to randomness strong steady movement broke into an array of movements some deep some shallow.

With a primal call he thrust up into her one more time his seed spilling into her womb. Her cry joined his, her body shaking and stammering, her innermost muscles clenching around him, milking every last bit of his soul into her. She collapsed down on top of him, worn, tired, sweaty, and extremely relaxed. She stay there her body atop his, red hair clinging to his bare chest.

After what seemed like ages he rolled her to her side, he slipped from her as they moved. A grown escaped her lips at the loss of contact. She opened her eyes to see him peering lovingly into her own. She reached up and kissed him sweetly, murmuring "I love you," before sleep overcame her.

He smiled softly and kissed her forehead, she'd already closed her eyes. "I love you too" he whispered before he too closed his eyes. He only hoped that in the morning she wouldn't regret what they'd just done.


	2. Morning After

Chapter Two: Morning After

-=/\=-

Kathryn awoke in the arms of Chakotay, it didn't take her long to remember what they'd done just hours before. She quietly pulled herself from his arms, thankfully not waking him up. She looked at the chronometer, it was about 0500 hours their time. She quickly gathered up her clothing that was on the floor next to Chakotay's side of the bed.

As she walked by the window she noticed that the storm had lifted. She sighed and made her way into the bathroom. She wanted to take a long bath, but opted for the shower because it would be faster, she didn't want to be caught in there when he woke up.

As she stood in the shower she thought back to the events from the night before. A knot formed in her stomach, she couldn't believe herself, what had possessed her to allow him to have sex with her, no what had possessed her to initiate it. She thought back to the events, and came to the decision that they'd both been impaired, those muffins must have had some sort of intoxicant in them. She'd had no idea when she gotten them out of the cupboard that she'd be setting them both up for a really bad situation.

She finished bathing and stepped out of the shower and toweled herself off. She placed her night clothes and robe into her bag, and grabbed out her uniform, she'd be returning to the ship at daylight. She cleaned up her things and made her way out into the living room to sit in one of the chairs. It was underneath one of the windows; she pulled her knees up to her chest and peered out up into the now clear sky. She could see the bright form of Voyager. A tear ran down her cheek, she couldn't let this continue, but she knew that she was about to hurt him badly.

-=/\=-

He awoke to find that the bed next to him was empty. His heart immediately sank. Looking at the chronometer he noticed that it was close to 0530, when had she gotten up. He pulled himself from bed, he quickly went to shower and at least put on his bottoms, they were now thankfully dry. After he was dressed he walked out into the living room to find her sitting by the window in her uniform looking up at the sky. He approached her cautiously, "Kathryn?" he whispered. She didn't move just continued looking up at the stars, he wasn't sure if she'd heard him at first. He moved closer and placed his hand on her shoulder, he was concerned. "Kathryn?" he asked a bit louder.

She shrugged his hand off, and turned away some more. She didn't know what she was going to do. Part of her just wanted to jump into his arms, to say that everything was fine, that she wanted everything to happen; that she wanted him in her life forever and ever. But, the other side of her wanted nothing to do with him, she had initiated it but he hadn't stopped her, they both took advantage of each other while they were under the influence of something.

His heart was crushed by her rejection, he could tell she was upset, but he couldn't completely understand why, she was the one that had initiated everything, when he'd questioned her she stopped him. He was angry and spoke, "Kathryn, at least look at me." He said he put his hand on her shoulder and moved her to where she had almost no choice but to look at him. She turned her body but didn't look into his face. He watched as she intentionally avoided his eyes.

He knelt down to try and look into her face, "talk to me, let me know what's wrong."

She swallowed hard, and finally looked up and locked eyes with him and blurted it out in a far harsher tone then she intended, "last night, that's what's wrong."

His face hardened and then fell, "why was it wrong?" she could feel his hurt and it only made her more angry that she was doing this to him, but she didn't see any other choice in the matter.

"It shouldn't have happened, we were both impaired." She stated, she stood and walked away from him needing to have some space. She turned on her heal and looked back at him, "we should just forget it happened go back to the way things were."

He stood there for a moment just starring at her, he couldn't believe what he was hearing, after she'd told him she loved him, and had been the sheer instigator she was backing off, she was trying to put the line back into place. He squared himself "I don't think I can Kathryn."

That wasn't what she wanted to hear, "Well we certainly can't go on from here." She was trying not to cry she refused to.

"Why the hell can't we?" he asked, "it's not like we both don't know exactly how the other feels. Besides, you're the one that crossed the line that you put in place, you knew how I felt, and if you hadn't wanted the commitment, then you shouldn't have started anything." He'd moved closer to her, he was challenging her.

"Chakotay," she stated coldly, she was angry, no, beyond angry. "We were not in control, you know as well as I do that we were drunk, everything that happened last night, everything that we did, that we said shouldn't have happened." She's raised her voice.

"As far as I knew last night you might have been a bit tipsy, but I think you knew what you were doing." He wasn't yelling his voice was low and cold, the anger he felt at the moment at this entire situation was overwhelming. "I didn't want to be put in that position to begin with; you know how I feel about you."

"Well you didn't make any effort to stop me" she snapped back.

"I did too" he stated. He turned away from her, he couldn't believe that she was playing with him the way she was. "You basically told me to be quite, you sure seemed like it was what you wanted last night, and then you said." He looked back at her, his voice has grown quiet.

She was losing her battle with her tears, she was about to say something else when her combadge chirped.

"Tuvok to Captain Janeway." His voice was extremely calm and still in the tenseness of the room.

She swallowed and turned away from him she couldn't stand to look at him anylonger. "Janeway here" there was only the slightest hint of distress in her voice as she spoke.

"Captain, I'm glad to hear that you made it through the storm alight, I have made contact with all crew that were on the surface except for the commander; he failed to return to the ship at his scheduled time yesterday." Tuvok informed unaware of what had been happening just moments before he called.

"Thank you Tuvok, and don't worry about the commander he's with me." She grimaced at the use of her words. Chakotay too grimaced the words she spoke were extremely painful. 'He's with me' how true those words were last night, and then this morning she had come down with a sudden case of regret. "We'll be returning to the ship shortly; I just need to finish getting a few of my things together."

"Very well captain, see you when you return." He closed the link.

She turned back towards him, "I suggest you finish getting dressed Commander." She turned and walked back into the kitchen area, she gathered up some of the leftover food, making extra sure to bring the muffins they'd consumed with her. She needed to know exactly what she'd eaten.

It was obvious she didn't want to continue the conversation. He turned on his heel and made his way into the bathroom to put the rest of his uniform on. He was very upset, what had seemed like a wonderful blessing was now a nightmare, he couldn't go back to the way things were; they'd crossed that line. He showed her how much he loved her. There was no way that he was going to be able to stand not being allowed to show her that love.

-=/\=-

The tension that was between the command team was felt the second they transported up to the ship. Upon exiting the transporter room they went opposite directions. Kathryn couldn't stand being near him. Chakotay wasn't on duty so he retired to his quarters; he had a lot he needed to think about.

Kathryn made a check on the bridge to make sure all was well, the majority of the away teams had returned to the ship and they were only waiting on a few. After making sure things were running smoothly she made her way to sickbay, she needed to know exactly what those muffins had done to them.

"Doctor?" she called out as she entered sickbay.

"Captain, what can I do for you." He asked coming out of his office.

She handed him one of the muffins, "I need you to analyze this. I think that it may contain some sort of intoxicant." she watched as he took it from her and started to scan it. "I had several of them last night, and I think that my judgment my have been impaired." She was leaving out any details about the nature of the impairment.

"I see," the Doctor stated as he examined the content of the food item. "Though Captain, if you were off duty then I don't see why indulging in a bit of recreational food items shouldn't be an issue."

He had no idea, "doctor please." She redirected him.

He nodded, "Give me a moment and I'll be right out with the results." He vanished and she waited patiently. He returned in less than five minutes.

"So?" She asked, she wanted to know how badly she had been impaired.

"Well, I have finished my analysis and it is my opinion that the chemicals in these muffins would not have impaired you judgment." He stated. "The chemicals would have caused a more heighted awareness of your surroundings, they stimulate the never endings, but there is nothing in it to suggest that you would have been in an altered state of mind." He paused; he noticed that the news instead of alleviating her worry only seemed to disturb her more. "Captain, whatever happened down there, perhaps I could help?"

She looked up at him, "thank you doctor." Is all she stated as she made her way out of sickbay without actually acknowledging his last statement. This only made the hologram more curious, but there was nothing that he could do so he went back to work.

She was now officially on duty and couldn't go back to her quarters; instead she made her way to her ready room. What the Doctor had told her was not what she wanted to hear; she wanted to be able to blame her loss of control on something other than herself. Now, there was nothing that could have saved her from facing the truth, she was the one that knocked down the line, and now she had hurt him more than she could have ever thought. How could she go to him and tell him that she'd done that, she couldn't. She sank down into her couch and pulled her legs in close. She turned her head towards the viewport and tears began to stream down her cheeks, how could she seriously have done this to him, how was she ever going to be able to face him again?

-=/\=-

Chakotay decided that he was going to sickbay; he'd managed to snatch one of the muffins and wanted the doctor to see just what they'd ingested, maybe it would shed some light on to why she'd behaved the way she had. Maybe it could offer at least some comfort to him, that maybe she really didn't know what she was doing, the night before and that morning.

The Doctor was working on a few cultures and looked up when he heard the doors open, "Ah Commander what can I do for you?" he asked. Chakotay held up the muffin and handed it to him. He raised an eyebrow at it, "another one," he looked the man in the eyes, "The Captain brought me one of these too she wanted to know what kind of intoxicants were in them. They must be pretty prevalent down on the planet. He stated not realizing that Chakotay had taken shelter in her cabin the night before.

"So Doctor?" he asked, now knowing that he already knew the information that he sought.

"Well as I told the Captain, you don't have to worry your judgment would not have been impaired, in fact the chemicals that are in them would heighten your sense and make you more aware of your soundings, and aside from being tired they wouldn't have made you do anything that you wouldn't want to." He seemed pleased with is explanation.

Chakotay was a bit better at hiding his mood and thanked the Doctor, he now with the new information that he had returned to his quarters, she had wanted it. Then why did she do what she did. He would give her a bit of time to calm down, but he needed to talk with her about it.


	3. Stale Mate

Chapter Three: Stale Mate

Kathryn stood in front of her mirror; she still hadn't talked to Chakotay about what had transpired during shore leave. Knowing about how long it takes for implantation to occur she had scanned herself about nine days after their little get together. And then the following day she had started her cycle, it was very light scarcely more than spotting, but then that was often how it was, so she didn't think much of it. The subsequent cycles after that were much the same, though like normal they were random occurring sometimes close together and some time far apart. She lived a very stressful life and the last four months hadn't been any different.

The main reason why she hadn't gone to talk to Chakotay was there just wasn't anytime too, this was the first time in around four months that she'd had a chance to even look herself in the mirror. She looked awful, she'd lost a great deal of weight, pushing around twenty pounds she guessed. She found that she just wasn't hungry and that it was very difficult for her to sleep. The times that they weren't under attack by the Drapons a species that once again lived in the delta quadrant and didn't like people in their space, though from what she understood they weren't the rightful owners of the territory. Never the less they were constantly attacking, their ships weren't much of a match for voyager, but they would strike at all hours of the day or night. They also did just enough damage to cause various repairs that needed to be done just to keep the ship flying. Thankfully the attacks weren't dangerous enough to cause any injuries except for the occasional scrape from a fall.

-=/\=-

The rift in the command team's relationship hadn't gone unnoticed by the crew, they could tell the day they got back that something had to have happened. Their normal touchy talky way about them was gone. They hardly stayed in the same room, and they were never seen eating together in the mess hall anymore. The feeling around the ship was that of sadness, had they finally decided that they would never be together, had they had a fight. There were many opinions as to what could have transpired.

The most commonly believed one was that she finally shot him down enough to where he decided that he couldn't be more than a collogue. The rift between them had the entire ship walking on eggshells just waiting to see what would happen. They all hoped that whatever was causing them to be upset with each other or to have grown apart would be solved.

This was a commonly shared feeling, and B'Elanna and Tom were some of the main people that wished things would get back to normal. They missed their friends. Kathryn had all but completely withdrawn from everyone, aside from the time she was on the bridge during an attack she was either in her ready room or her quarters. Before the shore leave they'd actually been spending a fair amount of time together, now she never saw her. She sighed as she looked across to Tom; he too seemed to share her thoughts. "Maybe we should see if we can't get them to talk to each other." She stated.

Tom looked at her, "how do you suppose we do that?" he asked, he would love to get the command team to be friend's again as much as anyone else on the ship.

"I don't know, perhaps we can figure out what happened between them." She stated picking at her food.

"Something tells me that they're not going to be very willing to talk," he too was pushing his meal around on his plate.

"Maybe I can at least talk with Chakotay, she keeps avoiding anything more than work related subjects, and I'm worried about them both." She put her fork down, not really wanting to eat what she had in front of her. She looked up at Tom, "I just wish that I had an idea of what happened."

"Well maybe he'll be willing to tell you, if he'll tell anyone it will be you." Tom stated, he pretty much had had enough of Neelix's latest meal. "Well I have to get to the bridge; thankfully it looks like we may have moved past the Drapon space."

She nodded to him and watched him leave. She decided that she should go and seek out Chakotay, he too had been somewhat withdrawn, but since he was the one that dealt with crew issues they'd seen far more of him then Kathryn.

-=/\=-

Chakotay was sitting trying to read one of his reports. He was sure that Kathryn was officially done with him. She'd made no effort to come to him and apologize, and he felt that he shouldn't need to apologize because he was not in the wrong. He heard the chime ring, he looked up. "Come in" he stated.

B'Elanna stepped into the room, "Hey, can I come in?" she asked.

"Of course Lanna," he stated.

She moved into the room and the doors closed, she made her way to sit across from him. "How are you?" she asked.

He offered her a slight smile, "I'm okay." He lied. He could tell that there was something on her mind. "What is it Lanna?"

She looked up into his eyes, "well, I, actually everyone is worried about you." She paused not sure if she should say the rest, but she knew that she had too, "and the captain." She could see a visible change in his face.

He only looked at her; this wasn't the subject that he wanted to talk about. "B'Elanna, I don't think it's any of your business." He stated.

She sighed, "Chakotay, we're worried about you two, the entire crew, ever since we had shore leave you two have been so isolated." She looked down then back up to him, "what happened between you two? I don't think you know this but when you're having problems it effects everyone, you two are what hold this ship together, and when you're sad, fighting, or upset it travels through the ship at warp ten. No one knows what's going on, and frankly it scares us." She took another deep breath and had reached out and touched his knee.

He looked at her, "I really don't want to talk about it Lanna," he'd looked away from her; she could tell that he was very upset.

"Well I think you need to, if not to me then her, I don't know what happened between you two, but if you haven't taken the time to really take a good look at yourself and her, you should. You're both suffering, neither one of you is happy with this situation, and frankly if you two don't sort it out soon, I'm afraid the whole ship is going to fall apart." She had stood and was pacing, she was being brutally honest. "I don't know if you've had a chance to look at her, but whatever happened is killing her, she has lost a tone of weight and it's not just you that she's withdrawn from, it's everyone." She was standing by the door, he still hadn't said anything, "whatever it is, please figure it out, this ship needs a working command team." With that she was gone, leaving him staring dumbfounded after her.

-=/\=-

After his shift Tom walked into B'Elanna and his quarters B'Elanna was sitting on the couch she looked pissed. "Any luck?" he asked, fairly sure he already knew the answer.

She shook her head, "I don't know, he said he didn't want to talk about it, and frankly I lost my temper and laid into him." She took a deep breath. "I just don't know what to do."

Tom sat down, and took B'Elanna into his arms, "I'm not sure if there is anything that you can do, maybe it was bound to happen, they both have been denying that they love each other for a long time, perhaps they finally hit their wits end." He gently stroked her back. He could feel her sigh once more.

"I know, but I miss my friends." She snuggled into his arms.

"I do too, B'Ella I do too." He just held her, the strain of the command teams problems were wearing on them both.

-=/\=-

Kathryn sat in her chair reading, she could hardly concentrate on the words that graced the pages of her book. Perhaps she should talk to him, but how could she. He probably wouldn't even want to see her. After all it'd been over four months, and she had only seen him when duty called. They hadn't even shared a 'how do you do' in that same amount of time. Could it be that she'd finally pushed him away?

She set her book down on the coffee table, and stood, she walked to the window and starred at the stars, the lack of distraction now played heavy on her mind; it hadn't really bothered her, the loss of human contact until now. Until she no longer had something to keep her mind occupied.

She made her way to the replicator and got herself a nice cup of coffee. She sat down at her table and wondered briefly if she should call for some company. She was feeling really sad and desperately needed contact with someone. She knew she couldn't call Chakotay, she was sure she'd never have him back, not after what she'd done to him, she couldn't blame him for never wanting to talk to her again. She sighed and hit her combadge, "Kathryn to B'Elanna."

"B'Elanna here, yes Captain?" she asked, she wasn't sure what to make of the sound of her voice. She glanced to Tom.

"I feel like a bit of company, would you mind joining me for a cup of coffee?" she asked hoping that the engineer would take her up on her offer.

"Of course I'll be right there." She smiled at Tom; this was the first invitation she'd had in four months.

"Thank you." Kathryn closed the link; she sighed and put her head down on the table.

B'Elanna hurried to her quarters, she was hoping that Chakotay had talked to her, but for some reason she had the feeling that he hadn't.

-=/\=-

Kathryn was pacing back and forth she was finding that she was losing her battle with her emotions, everything seemed to be hitting her. The chime rang and she paused, she meekly called out, "come in."

B'Elanna appeared in the doorway, she slowly stepped in not sure what to expect. What she saw broke her heart, Kathryn was standing there, obviously trying not to cry, her hair was disheveled and she was so tiny standing there in her tank and pants. She decided this wasn't a time to call her by her title. Sensing that she needed a hug she held her arms up, much like she'd done for her in the past. "Kathryn?" she simply asked.

Kathryn took the invitation and moved into the other woman's arms, as soon as she felt her arms wrap around her the tears finally fell. B'Elanna was stunned; she had never seen her cry. She protectively wrapped her arms around the older woman tighter; her body was trembling with tears. She offered her several quiet shhhs as she cried. Her hands rubbing up and down her back trying to calm her down, B'Elanna felt somewhat sick at how she felt, as she tried to comfort her it was obvious that nearly every bone in her body was sticking out.

Kathryn was so upset; she just needed to cry, to feel that she was loved. After a few moments, she grabbed B'Elanna's shoulders tighter and buried her head, and with a shaky tear-filled muffled voice she said, "I've made the most horrible mistake B'Elanna."


	4. Covert Operations

Chapter Four: Covert Operations

-=/\=-

B'Elanna stood holding her captain as tears streamed down her eyes. She had just told her that she'd made a terrible mistake. After a moment longer she relaxed her grip on Kathryn, and took a step back, "how can I help?" she asked looking into the older woman's eyes, she was searching her face for any sign as to what had been bothering her over the last four months.

Kathryn wiped her eyes; she was trying to settle the tears but just couldn't seem too. She took several deep breaths willing herself to calm down. She looked into the half Klingon's eyes, "I don't think I can ever face him." She paused and looked down, "not after what I'd done."

B'Elanna's heart sank; she knew exactly who the other woman was talking about. She took her hands and pulled her to her couch. She sat and waited for her to sit before she spoke, "what exactly did you do?" Her voice was calm and quiet.

Kathryn took a deep shuddered breath, and let out a single quiet sarcastic laugh, "It's the stupidest thing, but" she was fighting with herself, with her resolve, her ethics, and those all mighty ideals that she held. "God, I can't believe that I am so damn selfish." She looked at B'Elanna, the hurt at whatever it was resonating though her features.

B'Elanna reached her hand out and grasped Kathryn's, letting her know that it was alright, "whatever you did, or he did, or happened, I won't think anything less of you. You have always been there for us when we've needed you, sometimes you just need someone yourself."

Kathryn gave her a slightly crooked smile, though her eyes betrayed her. She stilled herself, and grasped the woman's hand tighter. She knew how close Chakotay and B'Elanna were, they told each other everything, and the fact he'd obviously not even talked to her about it, meant that the wounds she caused her were far deeper then she'd even thought. This only broke her heart more. She swallowed and spoke, "B'Elanna, I, we had sex." She searched the woman's face for anything that would make her want to stop talking.

B'Elanna was a bit surprised by what she'd said, but in a way she wasn't. They'd thought that sex or romance was probably the cause of their issues; she just wasn't sure exactly what had happened. "Alright, and what happened after?" she asked, she remained calm, she didn't want to upset Kathryn anymore then she already was, and at least one of them was talking.

"Well, we'd had some muffins; apparently they contain some kind of chemical that heightens your awareness of your surroundings. I thought that they also altered your mind too. When I woke up the next morning I got scared…" she stopped she was on the verge of crying once more. "I was angry that we'd done it, crossed the line." Tears were now flowing down her cheeks again, she let go of B'Elanna's hand and moved both hands up to her face. The younger woman just watched her and let her continue. She did, though her sentences were chopped up and nasal due to her crying. "I was so angry, because it wasn't him that did it, it was me. I was the one that pushed him into it."

She stood and started pacing; the tears were both from sadness and anger at what she'd done. "And then when he woke up, he came out to talk to me, and I told we couldn't' go back, that it was all a mistake." She stopped pacing and through her arms up in the air in jest, they slapped back down to her sides.

B'Elanna had stood; she moved in front of the other woman and put her hand on her shoulder she knelt down slightly so that she could look into her eyes, "was it a mistake?" it was a simple question but the answer to it could make the world of difference.

Kathryn swallowed, and looked B'Elanna in the eyes, her own clouded with tears. "No, I don't think it was. It was a mistake to get mad at him." She lost control again and shuddered with emotion. She felt arms wrap around her once more.

"I think you need to tell him." She stated rocking the other woman in her arms slightly.

"How can I," she sobbed.

B'Elanna let her go and took her shoulders she forced her to look into her eyes, "You can, because you know you need too. The two of you need each other and this ship needs the two of you. This isn't working, everyone knows that you love each other, and I think if you tell him you were scared, he'd believe you. Chakotay isn't the kind of man that holds a grudge, 'specially towards the person he loves. I know this because even after everything that Seska had done to him, part of him still cared deeply for her. He's just hurt, you told him that you wanted to be with him, and then backed away. What man wouldn't be hurt by that?"

Once again she'd regained control; she looked B'Elanna in the eyes and nodded unable to find words. She was right about a lot of things, but she still couldn't see how she could tell him that she was in control and knew exactly what she was doing. She was also surprised by how well B'Elanna had taken what she'd had to say. It in a big way felt nice that the crew accepted them for being human, and if B'Elanna's feelings were shared by the crew, maybe, just maybe if she could convince him to have her back, they could actually make things work.

"I think the best thing for you two to do, is to just go into the same room and take a good long look at the other, and you, need to tell him, what you just told me." She looked into her eyes deeply talking to Kathryn's soul instead of her mind.

-=/\=-

Chakotay was pacing back and forth in his quarters. He knew that B'Elanna was right, things weren't working like they should, and the crew was suffering having to deal with_ their_ issues. It wasn't right or fare. Perhaps maybe he could have pushed her away and forced her to tell him that she did indeed want to commit to having a romantic relationship, but at the same time she hadn't had the right to all but demand it and then turn around and say that it was a mistake.

He looked up when his chime rang, 'who would be coming by at this hour of the night?' he wondered. Somewhat irritated at being interrupted he called out; "Come in." he turned to the door to see who it was. "Tom?" he asked confused.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I need a little help with something, it's the modifications I'm making to the flyer. I need another opinion." He stated looking up at him, hoping that he'd buy into what he was saying.

Chakotay looked at him, "and it couldn't wait until morning?" he asked.

"No, I was given very specific orders, I need to have them ready to go by noon tomorrow." He stated.

"Very well," Chakotay said. He looked at him, "so do you have the plans?" he asked noticing that he wasn't carrying anything.

"Actually I have the program running in the holodeck so that we can test them. B'Elanna is already down there." He stated letting him know that she was working on the 'project' already. Chakotay nodded and followed the young man out of his quarters.

-=/\=-

Chakotay walked into the holodeck and instead of finding a simulation of the Delta Flyer he found that he was standing in Sandrine's. He looked back at the young man, "Tom, just what in the world are you trying to pull?" He stopped and turned around as he felt a hand on his shoulder. "B'Elanna?" he questioned.

"We decided it was time for an intervention." She stated, "And now if you excuse us, I think that there is someone here that needs to talk to you, _alone_." She gave him a look and walked past him taking Tom's arm into hers. They quickly exited before he could say anything. He turned around to see who exactly she'd been talking about. He spotted Kathryn sitting with her back to him her thumb nervously tracing the rim of her glass. He took a deep breath, and thought, "those sneaky sons of…" He stopped as he noticed that she'd turned and spotted him.

-=/\=-

She saw him, and she couldn't believe what B'Elanna had just pulled. She seriously had excused herself to get drinks and then she had needed to use the 'lady's room.' She saw him turn to leave, she sighed and looked back at her glass and in a monotone voice said, "I wouldn't bother, she's probably sealed the doors, and knocked out transporters and communications."

Chakotay ignored her and tried the doors anyway. She was right they were sealed. He decided not to even test the other ideas. Instead he simply turned around and took a seat well away from her. They could wait it out. He didn't look at her, he couldn't stand too. He was going to have a nice long talk with both B'Elanna and Tom when they finally let them out of there.

Kathryn just traced the rim of her cup, she was still amazed that B'Elanna would go this far. She just sat there starring at her cup. She wasn't even dressed fully, though frankly she wasn't sure why that bothered her.

-=/\=-

Tom and B'Elanna paced out in the corridor; they knew the move was risky. The two of them were either going to end up in a hell of a lot of trouble and the problems with the command team weren't going to be solved, or well either way they were probably going to be in trouble, but they both had felt that it was necessary. She hadn't told Tom everything that had gone on between them, just that they had a major fight and both were being too stubborn to talk to the other. She felt it wasn't her place to go into the details.

Tom looked at her, "they are both going to kill us when we let them out of there." He stated.

"I know, maybe we should ask Tuvok if he'd cover for us?" she laughed slightly, she was nervous as to what was going to happen, but at the same time she was hopeful.

-=/\=-

After about ten minutes of nothing but silence between the two of them she sighed and stood up. "Chakotay, they're not going to let us out of here until we talk." She'd turned to look at him, but made no move to step any closer, she didn't even look him in the eyes. Her gaze was on the ground, and her hands were clasped very unsurely in front o f her.

He didn't look at her, "I don't think there is anything left to talk about, you made it pretty clear that you wanted nothing more to do with me."

His words pierced into her soul, she felt the tears beginning to build up inside her. They spilled over silently, as she tried to find the courage to speak. "Chakotay," her voice was nothing more than a whisper, she wasn't even sure if he could hear her. "I'm sorry." She found that she felt weak and sat back down into the both. She scooted back far enough to where she could bring her knees in closer to herself, she was so insecure, so confused about what to do, how she felt, how he felt, all she could do was sit there in the fetal position. She spoke a bit louder, "I'm so sorry." Her crying had become audible.

He looked up when he heard her crying. The sight he saw hurt him almost as much as when she'd told him she didn't want to continue their relationship. He swallowed; she was so very tiny, he hadn't fully believed B'Elanna when she'd said that she'd lost a significant amount of weight. He'd thought that she'd been trying to make him feel guilty. He could hear her talking again though it was extremely muffled because her face was in the valley that her arms created when she'd wrapped them around her legs.

"I am so very sorry, I had no right to do what I did." She stopped to take a breath, "I got scared. I thought that we had been intoxicated. I lied when I told you it was a mistake that it shouldn't have happened." She had to stop talking for a moment, trying to cry and talk at the same time didn't work very well. She couldn't look up, she didn't want to see if he was ignoring her or not. "I wasn't mad at you; I was mad that I'd lost control; then the doctor told me I hadn't been impaired I felt so stupid, that I had hurt you so badly. I was also terrified how the crew would react to us, I." she paused, "I just couldn't" she could no longer keep talking; full belly sobs were coursing through her.

Chakotay had stood and quietly walked to her, he had no idea that she truly felt the way that she had. He now realized that perhaps he had handled the whole situation wrong. He'd just become so angry when she started trying to back away that he lost his temper and said so many things that he didn't mean, and it was now obvious that she too had done the same thing. He knelt down and reached his hand out to touch her knee.

She jumped at the sudden contact. She looked up and found that he was starring staring into her eyes. His face wasn't quiet readable, she'd managed to find her voice one more time, and with words that were just scarcely audible she said, "I really do love you, more than anything."

He just looked at her; she looked so meek and fragile, like a doll. Her hair was falling out of a very loosely drawn up pony tail, curling around her tear stained cheeks. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears, and her lips were red and somewhat swollen from her biting on them slightly, everything was accented by the fact that her face was far more angular then it normally was due to her weight loss. She'd never looked more beautiful to him then in that moment. "Kathryn, I will always love you, I was just so hurt." He broke the eye contact briefly as he looked down, he then looked back and took her hands in to his, causing her to have to lower her legs back to the ground, she still sat slumped. "I know I should have handled things differently, and I'm sorry for anything that I said that made you feel like you couldn't tell me the truth."

She shook her head, and took a deep breath, "no, don't apologize, it was my fault, I'm really sorry." She looked down then back up to him; she swallowed once more and then asked, "Will you still have me?"

He smiled, and nodded, "I want nothing more than that."

She lost her battle with tears again, but this time they were tears of joy. She breathed several times in a row quickly before pulling her hands out of his. She wrapped them around his neck. She closed her eyes as she felt him embrace her; she'd slipped from the booth onto the floor with him. She snuggled her head into his shoulder and said in a muffled tone, "I hoped you'd say that." She could feel him nodding.

Tears had filled his eyes for more than one reason, the first was that she was his, the other at the fact she was so frail now. As he held her he felt how light she was, she felt tiny and like a skeleton, as his hands traced her sides, it was so very different then that night, he could feel every rib even though the fabric of her tank top. After a moment of holding her he let go and shifted his weight back so that he was sitting in front of her. He looked into her eyes, "Kathryn, are you okay, you're so thin."

She could tell that he was scared for her, but she nodded, "I'll be alright now." She gave him a genuine smile, and reached out to him again, this time instead for just hugging him she took his lips in a very long overdue kiss. It was full of every bit of passion they'd had the night everything had started.

-=/\=-

Tom was pacing back and forth, he was becoming extremely anxious. He paused and looked down at B'Elanna who'd taken up a seat leaning against the wall. "They've been in there for over three hours."

"Just be patient Tom, knowing them they probably spent the first hour in silence." She stated.

"Either that or they've killed each other." He said, the suspense was getting to him.

"I'm sure things wouldn't have gotten down to physical contact." She paused banishing the thoughts away, "at least not violent contact." She grinned.

This caught Tom's attention, "you don't think that they're?" he looked her in the eyes with a raised eyebrow.

"No of course not, they're probably just talking, after all I'm sure they had a lot to talk about." She was trying to reassure him. Though she too was becoming worried, she thought that they would have resolved things by now and come out of the Holodeck. Maybe the damage that she'd caused was more sever then she'd thought.

Tom paced up and down the corridor four more times before he stopped and looked down at her one more time, "we really should check on them." His eyes were almost pleading.

B'Elanna sighed and then nodded; she reached her hand up to have him help her, and then punched in her override to the holodeck controls unsealing the doors. The two cautiously walked in.

-=/\=-

Upon hearing the doors open Kathryn and Chakotay who'd simply been talking for the last two and a half hours grinned at each other, they stood and made their way to the pool table. Tom and B'Elanna were going to be gotten back for what they'd done one way or the other. Though they were thankful for what they'd done.

Tom stopped as he heard a strange noise, he turned to look at B'Elanna just before stepping though the threshold of Sandrine's. Upon entering he froze in his tracks his mouth on the floor. There in the middle of his pool table, Kathryn was sitting with her legs on either side of Chakotay's he was kissing her. B'Elanna's mouth hit the floor too; she'd just told Tom that that wasn't happening. She swallowed and then moved into action, she grabbed Tom's arm and pulled him with her on her way out the doors. He at first didn't move, until she pulled more forcefully.

Once the two were outside Tom stopped and looked at B'Elanna still in awe. "My" he paused, "they're on my… pool table." He was white.

B'Elanna just started laughing hysterically and looked at him, "Well I dare say we solved _their_ problem." She could hardly stand she leaned on the wall for support.

Tom just looked at her he was in total shock, that wasn't quite the scene he'd ever thought that he'd see, in a way he felt a bit like he'd just seen his parents making out. After regaining her control she grabbed his arm, "come on fly boy, lets get home."

-=/\=-

Once they heard the doors to the holodeck open and close once more they broke apart, Kathryn just started laughing hysterically leaning back onto the pool table. Chakotay too was laughing, he was laughing so hard that he needed to lean his hands on the table for support. After a few moments she spoke, "I didn't think Tom could turn that red." She'd moved her hands up to her face, and then down to her stomach. It was starting to hurt from all the sobbing and now laughing that she'd been doing. Those were muscles that she didn't use very often.

"B'Elanna was nearly as red." He looked down at her; it was so nice to see her smile. He'd missed her so much.

She reached her hand up needing him to help her to sit back up on the table before she could stand. He helped her up, "Let's had back to my quarters for a night cap." She smiled, it was late but she didn't care.

"I'd like that." He wrapped her in his arms again and gave her another nice long kiss. He then looked at her and grinned broadly, "tomorrow's staff meeting is going to be fun with those too."

She playfully hit him and simply stated on the way out, "you're so terrible." As they exited he called for the computer to end program and the two of them headed back to her quarters.


	5. Anxious Anticipation

Chapter Five: Anxious Anticipation

-=/\=-

The next three months were for the most part uneventful. The crew and the ship were in good working order, which included the command team. Whatever had happened between them had finally been solved. In fact you could almost say that they were glowing, especially the captain. She seemed to be in the best mood that anyone on that ship had ever seen.

Tom and B'Elanna had gotten by with a simple warning that if they were ever to pull anything like that again they would both be in trouble, but they were thankful that they'd done what they did too. This made them both very happy. Neither one had divulged any information to anyone else, being that well they valued their life, and had also been told that if they breathed a word of what had happened in that holodeck they would be locked in the brig for the rest of the journey.

The crew had noticed that they were now far closer then they'd ever been. It was a universal feeling of thanks that they'd finally gave in and had started dating. Everyone felt that they deserved to be happy and have someone else in their life, they could be out in the delta quadrant for the rest of their lives, and it wasn't right that they would have to live that time alone.

The Doctor who had been originally close to tricking the captain into coming to sickbay and holding her there force feeding her so she'd gain weight was also no longer worried. She'd started regaining the weight that she'd lost almost immediately after Chakotay and she had resolved things. It was clear that there was nothing medically wrong with her, it was purely psychological, more than likely a simple matter of depression that was caused by the guilt that she felt for what she'd done to him. A tricorder wasn't needed to come to these conclusions. She thankfully was now at a very healthy weight for her height.

She sat in her command chair; a smile graced her lips as Harry reported that they were nearing a system that appeared to contain many M class planets and moons. This was great news, they needed more food stuffs and soon. She called for a meeting, this time she was going to lead one of the search parties, it'd been about seven months since she'd been off the ship, and she felt like stretching her legs some.

-=/\=-

"It appears that the moons around the fourth and the fifth planet have significant signs of plant life, I'm sure that many of them will be edible." Harry stated pointing to the different areas on the map of the region. "The third planet also looks like it might be promising."

"Very good," she stated, "Commander Tuvok, I want you to stay here on the bridge, Commander Chakotay I want you to take Mr. Kim and survey the third planet, Tom and Neelix, You are to talk a shuttle to the moons around the fourth planet, and B'Elanna and Seven you'll be with me, we'll survey the moons around the fifth planet." She knew that for this mission she would need to allow Tuvok and Chakotay to believe that she was in good hands, that's why she was bringing two of the strongest officers she had on her senior staff. "Alright we will be leaving here first thing in the morning, dismissed." She was greeted with nods and 'yes Captain's.'

Everyone left except for Chakotay, "yes?" she asked looking at him, she already knew that he wasn't going to let her go without at least telling her he didn't like the idea.

He smiled when he realized that he was becoming predictable. "You knew what I was going to say didn't you?"

She nodded a smile gracing her lips too, "I'll be fine, that's why I'm taking two and not just one other with me, besides I have the best damn engineering officer with me, and after all our extremely efficient Borg." She said somewhat mimicking Seven's way of speaking.

"I know, but it's my job to say something." He stated, he moved aside so that she could walk past him.

She stopped briefly and looked back at him, "and you do it very well." With that she left, she had a few things to take care of before they left in the morning.

-=/\=-

Things were going very well; they'd finished surveying the first two moons out o six and were on their way to the third when a sound caught their attention. "I'm reading a fluctuation in the right plasma coil captain," seven stated.

"I'm getting it too, B'Elanna?" she asked.

"I see it too; I'm not sure what's causing it. I'm trying to correct it now." She pressed the buttons at her station feverishly. "It's no use captain I can't stabilize it."

"Alright, I think we'll head back to Voyager and figure things out and send another team back to finish up." She pressed a few buttons to try and alter course. The shuttle jumped, as another problem crept up.

"I've just lost engines captain." B'Elanna stated. Seven moved out of the way as B'Elanna made her way to the back and popped open a hatch to try and clear the problem, "the plasma injectors are fused."

The shuttle stammered some more, "Can't you clear them, I'm losing altitude." She feverishly tried to regain some ground with the shuttle, "damn we're caught in the gravity of the moon. I'm going to try to land. Seven." She stated motioning to her to take B'Elanna's place.

"Captain, we must slow our decent." Seven stated calmly.

"Thruster's aren't responding." The land of the moon was rushing towards them quickly. "Brace for impact!" she called as the shuttle began to skip over the trees. The right nacelle was ripped off, and the shuttle finally came to rest after a violent slide across a clearing.

-=/\=-

B'Elanna was the first one to wake up, she could hear the computer warning that the hull had been compromised. Moaning she managed to sit up. Her entire body hurt. She went to move and crawl but found that when she placed her right arm down on the ground pain shot straight up to her brain. She grimaced and pushed it from her mind. She decided to quickly check herself over; she seemed to be for the most part in one peace. She became aware of a second voice, it was Seven. Looking up towards the front of the shuttle she saw Seven, she too was looking herself over. She watched as Seven paused, remembering that there was a third person in the shuttle with them.

Seven looked next to her and was out of the chair she'd still been sitting in within moments. She grabbed the closest tricorder and gathered up the most important information. She was alive, but her brain had become to swell. She stopped at looked up when the computer stated that there was a tetrazine gas leak and they needed to evacuate.

B'Elanna had moved up to where the two other women were, Kathryn was still unconscious, a nice burse was forming on her head. "Can we move her?" she asked. The computer alerted that they had less than a minute to evacuate.

"We don't have a choice." Seven stated she placed her hands under Kathryn's body and lifted her; B'Elanna managed to stand and opened the rear hatch. She grabbed the med kit and followed after Seven who carefully carried the captain. They found an overhang and Seven placed the captain's body down on the ground.

B'Elanna was scanning the most important areas, she checked and made sure that there were no neck fractures, she did find that she had a slight skull fracture, just a hairline but it was causing some swelling. She had stopped breathing. She looked in the medkit but found that there was a tool missing, "damn it" she stated she looked at Seven," we're going to have to give her CPR."

Seven nodded, and moved to Kathryn's chest, she'd already taken note that B'Elanna's arm was injured and more than likely couldn't handle the compressions. The two began to work on her, after thankfully only three full cycles Kathryn took a deep breath when B'Elanna pressed a stimulant into her neck. She began to cough violently. B'Elanna leaned back or a moment and took a deep breath as well, Seven even looked extremely relieved.

Once she'd gotten her composure back she used the equipment in the medkit to help bring down the swelling in her brain. "Captain," she stated, "don't you ever do that to us again."

Seven had offered her, her hand when she'd noticed that she wanted to sit up. Coughing again she simply stated, "I'll try not to." She was almost in a sitting position and she screamed out as pain shot though her abdomen. She collapsed back to the ground.

Seven had immediately pulled out the tricorder once again; she'd scanned her and raised her eyebrow. B'Elanna looked really concerned, "what's wrong Seven?" she asked looking at the other woman. Kathryn was still trying to regain her composure after the stabbing pain.

"It appears Captain that you are pregnant." She stated her implant nearly hitting her hair line.

She'd managed to fight though the pain and hand pulled herself back into a sitting position, "What?" she stated in disbelief. She was reaching out towards the tricorder when another pain ran thorough her abdomen, she fell forward this time crying out. She was now becoming scared. B'Elanna grabbed her arms, "Seven, we're going to need the rest of the emergency supplies." She looked at her, thinking the same thing that Seven was at the moment, She'd also noticed something that disturbed her greatly where Kathryn had just been sitting, there was a pool of blood underneath her.

Seven nodded and left quickly, handing B'Elanna the tricorder. She grabbed Kathryn by the shoulders ignoring the pain in her arm, "Captain, I think you need to lay back." Kathryn obliged leaning back on the wall of the overhang. B'Elanna removed her jacket and placed it behind her head. Kathryn's body arched as yet another pain ran through her body.

After it passed, she grabbed B'Elanna's hand, she locked eyes with her, "I'm losing it aren't I?" she asked.

B'Elanna swallowed and nodded, "I think so." She only grabbed the other woman's hand tighter. With her bad hand she began to scan her abdomen. The heart rate was still fairly strong, she ran a few calculations into the tricorder and her mouth opened in shock. She looked up when she heard Seven return.

She grabbed one of the blankets form her, "Captain, I need to put this under you, and then we're going to need to get your undergarments off, "I don't think you're losing a baby, I think you're about to deliver a baby."

Seven raised her eyebrow and Kathryn just looked at her in shock for a moment. How could she be having a baby, it wouldn't be anywhere near viable. "B'Elanna whA" her words turned into a scream as another pain ran through her.

B'Elanna began to remove Kathryn's uniform bottoms, "seven hand me that blanket, at least we can stay somewhat modest in case they find us." She stated, she was amazingly calm, she looked Kathryn in the eye, "remember what you told me about what happened seven months ago?" she asked.

All the while, whilst she was being stripped she couldn't believe what was happening, "I don't get it, I can't be I scanned myself nearly two weeks after we returned, I mean."

Seven had taken the tricorder since B'Elanna was occupied trying to prepare for the birth of the baby, she scanned her checking on the vitals of both she and the baby. "Captain, the fetus does appear to be at about twenty eight weeks gestation."

Seven's mannerisms were all too calm for the situation and it was beginning to get on her nerves. "How the hell could I be seven months, I mean do I look like I'm pregnant!" she was scared, and amazed at the same time, and was not completely rational.

"No, you do not have the appearance of a typical woman at Seven months gestation, but you are indeed in labor with one." Seven stated.

B'Elanna hand grabbed a secondary tricorder; she scanned her and ventured somewhere she'd never thought in her life she'd go. "You're fully dilated." She said, she looked as terrified as Kathryn was, "With the next contraction I want you to push." She stated.

Kathryn took a deep breath, it was happening, she was completely unaware before but it was happening. She'd felt no movement, and had thought that she'd been getting her cycle fairly regularly She wasn't sick, nothing; she had felt nothing to have suggested that she was carrying new life with in her. She was terrified, she had had not treatment for it, she knew she hadn't been eating the way she should, and there had been far more occasions that she'd indulged then she'd like to admit. Would her baby be healthy? She reached her hand out and took Seven's she was sitting next to her.

She closed her eyes as a very strong contraction hit her, she cried out squeezing Seven's hand tightly. Seven held hers very tight as well, she just watched in absolute shock herself. She did what B'Elanna had told her and pushed. Tears were falling from her eyes. The pain was almost the worst she'd ever experienced. After the contraction passed she fell back onto the blankets.

"You're doing well, Kathryn." B'Elanna stated, she felt that at the moment a personal name would be far more appropriate than a title.

She was about to say something else when another contraction hit, she screamed out again as she pushed. Seven's combadge chirped it was Voyager, "Tuvok to away team."

"Seven here." She stated hitting the combadge with the hand that wasn't holding the captain's.

-=/\=-

The sound of the captain cries didn't go unnoticed by the crew. They could hear B'Elanna saying something but it was too hard to understand. They all gave curious looks. Samantha was filling in at the science station; she'd raised her eyebrows, if she didn't know any better she could have sworn that she'd heard B'Elanna say that someone was crowning. She dismissed the notion.

"We are attempting to lock onto you, but it appears that you are close to a rock formation that is interfering with the transporters. We need you to move away from the formation and prepare for transport." He stated.

-=/\=-

"We are unable to comply." Seven stated. She'd reached out and wiped the sweat from the brow of Kathryn.

-=/\=-

"Would you kindly elaborate," Was Tuvok's response.

The Captain's voice was the next to be heard, it sounded very strange, and what she said shocked everyone on the bridge, "Damn it Tuvok we're in the middle of something." She stopped talking and a scream could be heard once more over the comm. Now the people on the bridge were becoming scared. The next few moments provided more than enough information as to what was going on.

The crew stopped working, stopped moving as the sound of B'Elanna yelling for her to push over and over again rang though the bridge. Then seconds later a cat like whine erupted though the stillness of the room. There was a unanimous gasp.

-=/\=-

Kathryn was now crying, as B'Elanna handed her the whimpering bundle. She'd had to press several hypo sprays into its neck to stabilize it until they got back to Voyager. B'Elanna was too crying slightly, "It's a boy." She smiled. Seven too looked a bit teary eyed, though she didn't shed any. Seven smiled slightly and reached her hand out and touched the baby's cheek.

The moment was stopped when Kathryn called out again, nothing was getting past the crew, Tuvok had decided that it was time for him to send the Doctor down. The woman looked behind them when they heard footsteps. Seven took the baby from Kathryn and moved out of the way. He scanned her and raised his eyebrow, "I we're not done yet." He stated.

She locked eyes with him; he couldn't be saying what she thought he was saying. The thought left as another contraction hit. B'Elanna and Seven locked eyes; they hadn't detected a second baby. The doctor seemed more worried than anything else. "Doctor I only detected one other life sign." Seven stated.

"I know you did." He said, "Captain with the next contraction you need to push as hard as you can."

She swallowed as she realized what he was meaning. She focused on him; B'Elanna had taken her hand this time since seven was preoccupied with the baby that had already been delivered. Kathryn let out a primal cry and the second baby was born, but this time there was only silence. She looked to B'Elanna shock playing on her face; it was mixed with absolute terror.

The Doctor turned away from Kathryn's view and took a blanket and wrapped the baby up. "We need to get back to the ship now." He stated. Seven nodded and handed B'Elanna the little boy she scooped Kathryn up, making sure that she was wrapped completely up in the remaining blankets. They quickly walked away from the overhang. Kathryn was extremely tired and very upset; she had tucked her head into seven's neck, being unable to hold it up. Tears were running down her cheeks. Seven looked down at her and her heart broke, Kathryn had always been so strong, she realized then the connection humans could have with their children.

The Doctor called for all parties to be transported to Sickbay.

-=/\=-

The link on the bridge closed, everyone was quiet. They'd just heard something that shook them all down to the core. Sam knew what it was like already to lose a baby, Naomi had been born, died, and then a copy of her so to speak had been returned to her. She turned to Tuvok, "Permission to leave the bridge sir?" she asked. "I think I might be of help with the captain." She stated letting Tuvok know why she wanted to leave. He nodded and she was gone.

Tuvok then recalled the remaining shuttles, he was careful not to tell the commander of what had just transpired. He just informed him that there had been an accident and that it was vital from him to return to the ship.

-=/\=-

Sam walked into quite the scene. Seven was laying the boy infant into an incubator in the room, B'Elanna though she was injured was tending to Kathryn, and the Doctor was no wear to be seen in the main part of sickbay. He'd vanished almost instantaneously with the other baby.

Sam walked over to her, "Captain." She said, she placed her hands on her arm. It was obvious that she was very upset. "I'm here for you."

Kathryn nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She felt another contraction. She looked at B'Elanna. "Doctor she called out, she's having another contraction."

She heard him yell back room the other room, "Yes, it's the placentas" he couldn't leave what he was doing, not just yet.

Sam took her hand as the contractions to deliver the placentas overcame her. It didn't take long and it was over. B'Elanna and Sam simply stayed with her, helping to wipe her fore head, they offered the support that she needed. They looked up as the doors to Sickbay opened, it was Tom. His shuttle was closer to Voyager and had made it back first. His eyes grew wide at the scene in front of him.

He quickly looked around and spotted the doctor on just the other side of his office, he was hunched over. Tom made his way to him and paused seeing what he was doing. The Doctor looked up, "Tom, I need you to take care of the captain and the other baby, I'll be there later." He nodded seeing why the doctor wasn't working in the other room.

He took a deep breath and then made his way to Kathryn's side; she was beginning to have quite the audience. "Hey." He stated, "You know usually we have a bit of warning before this happens." He said trying to lighten the mood some. He only received a glare from every woman in the room. He took some deep scans of her, and pressed a few hypos into her neck. She was starting to drift in and out of consciousness. "Doctor I don't want to rush you, but she's starting to have some issues from her head injury."

"Mr. Paris use your best judgment." He called back; he couldn't stop what he was doing not now.

He took a deep breath, this was the first time the doctor was having him work on a patient without his guidance, though he'd done the procedure that he needed to do before. He activated the surgical beds ring and activated the head stabilize. He looked up at everyone, "I'm going to need you to give me some room, we'll call when we have more news." He looked down as he placed the head device in place. Kathryn's eyes closed, the best thing he could do for her was to put her into a comma until they could repair the damage. He looked at the woman, "please try to keep Chakotay from coming in right away."

They nodded and filed out into the corridor, B'Elanna hugged herself her arm was still in bad shape, she looked at Seven, she had a nasty cut across her cheek, and some nice scrapes in other areas that had ripped in the crash, but they knew at the moment that they were the least of the Doctor's worries.

-=/\=-

Once the girls were gone, Tom took his attention to the little boy that was lying in an incubator. The captain was stable for now; the computer was keeping her that way. He went about assessing the little boy's condition. He wasn't in the best of shape; he had a few bruised ribs. 'She must have fallen face first' he thought.

He also spotted that his little left leg was broken. His heart sank; no baby should be brought into the world in that shape. He looked back at the sleeping form on the bed, how had she been pregnant with twins, which were at a viable age? She sure didn't look like she had been. As he began work to repair the injuries that her son had suffered during the crash it dawned him what the whole problem with the command team had been about.

-=/\=-

Chakotay arrived in the shuttle bay, all he'd been told was that there'd been an accident. As soon as he was landed he noticed that the Delta Flyer was in the shuttle bay, but the shuttle that Kathryn had taken wasn't. Harry was with him when he contacted Tuvok over the Comm. "Tuvok, was the accident with the captain's shuttle?" he asked.

"Yes commander, the away team was transported directly to sickbay." He stated.

Chakotay didn't say anything just took off towards sickbay, Harry was in tow. They arrived outside the doors to find quite the gathering, it seemed like the entire senior staff, with the exception of Tuvok, Tom, and the Doctor, and the addition of Sam was standing outside the doors. He could see that both B'Elanna and Seven hadn't been treated yet.

"What happened?" he asked. He was very scared now.

Seven and B'Elanna looked back and forth to each other, they didn't want to tell him. "Chakotay, I think it might be best if we waited on telling you." B'Elanna said. She reached the hand that wasn't hurt up to him.

He looked at her he didn't understand why she didn't want to tell him. Was her condition that bad? He looked over the two women that had been with her, they were both covered in blood. "B'Elanna, I need to know." He stated, the only other one that was standing outside with them that knew what had happened was Sam, but she most certainly wasn't going to say anything, it wasn't her place.

B'Elanna looked at him, "Alright, but you're not going to be happy, and the Doctor and Tom doesn't want anyone in there right now, that's why we're all out here."

He nodded, the lump that had formed in his throat had grown larger. "alright." He said.

B'Elanna moved away from the group she motioned for Seven and him to follow her, once they were out of earshot of the rest of the group she started to tell him. "we lost the plasma injectors and went down. We had to revive her. I treated her for some cranial swelling because she fractured her skull, don't worry it's just a hairline fracture, they've put her in a comma to stabilize her, until they're able to get to her to repair the damage."

His eyebrows furrowed, why wasn't the Doctor treating her right away? "Alright." He said, he could tell there was something else.

"Well, she seemed fine until she went to move, and then she doubled over in pain. We discovered that she was pregnant." B'Elanna told him.

His eyes grew really wide, "she lost the baby?" he asked, he was pale.

Seven chimed in, "Commander, she was not in the earliest stages of pregnancy, contrary to how she appears, she was twenty eight weeks gestation." B'Elanna fought the urge to roll her eyes, leave it to Seven to say it in the coldest manor possible.

"Chakotay, she was pregnant with twins, seven months along." She let him know it in a bit more personal manner. "We delivered the first one, it's a boy." She stated, a very faint smile played on her lips.

He smiled slightly, but he could sense that that wasn't it, "a boy?" he asked.

She nodded, "yes, but I can't tell you what the other baby is, the Doctor beamed down by this point, and well it had no heart beat before it was born. He disappeared with it into the other side of sickbay. We haven't heard anything else." She stated, she'd placed her hand on his arm, the words that she said were obviously hurting him. He didn't know what to say, he was in shock. "He was working very hard, if he can't save it, no one can." She tried to offer him support.

-=/\=-

Tom finished healing the infant boy's injuries. He was a very cute baby; you could tell exactly who the father was by looking at him. He was a bit fussy, probably hungry; he was now stable so Tom moved the incubator from the center of the room to a more discreet location. He looked up to see the Doctor come into the room. He made eye contact with Tom. "I've done everything I can." He simply said, and then made his way to Kathryn's sleeping form.

"Please assist me." He said, the Doctor was in his calm triage mode, he couldn't tell if the baby had made it or not. It took them another hour to completely repair all of the injuries that the captain had suffered, aside from the head injury, she had a ruptured diaphragm, and a few more abdominal injuries, it was a wonder that she hadn't passed out from the pain during labor. Once all the damage was repaired he woke her. After he'd had the transporters dress her so that she was decent.

Kathryn slowly opened her eyes; she was met by Tom and the Doctor looking down at her. She sat up slowly, "take it easy captain." Tom stated, he didn't' force her back down, just gave her the warning. She propped herself up on her arms and looked towards the incubator. Tom took note of the next question she was going to ask, "He was bumped up pretty well, but he'll be fine." She smiled than looked at the Doctor.

He didn't say anything about the other baby to her. His silence didn't go unnoticed. "I think we should let the commander in now, and I need to assess the other two's conditions. He stated now that the most critical patients had been dealt with.

Tom nodded and went to the doors of sickbay, he was met with the rest of the senior staff plus Sam, he took note that even Tuvok was now down there. "You can come in, commander, seven, and B'Elanna" he stated looking at the others that was the last thing that they needed was to be inundated by a tone of people that were concerned. The three that were mentioned made their way through the crowd and into sickbay. Tom looked at them both, "B'Elanna and Seven please take a seat on one of the other biobeds, Chakotay." He nodded letting him know that he could go to her.

Kathryn sat completely up and grabbed him into a hug when he was close enough. "O Spirits, Kathryn are you alright?" he asked. He just held onto her tightly. She nodded though she felt like crying again.

"We have a son." She said. Looking past him to the incubator, she was really happy but at the same time she was very sad, she was sure the other baby didn't make it, she only wished the Doctor would tell her what it was.

Chakotay smiled, he already knew everything, and "We do have a son, though why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? Or, tell the Doctor." He asked, they were being quiet as to not have their conversation be heard by the others that were being attended too.

"I honestly didn't know." She stated.

He looked at her, with confusion.

"I scanned myself nine days after we got back, and then I thought I'd started my cycle. They're usually really light and they're not normally regular, I didn't think anything of it." She said, "I also honestly didn't' feel anything, no movement, there was no reason after I scanned myself to even think that I could have been pregnant." She said, she looked down, "and I sure don't think I looked like I was pregnant, specially not with." She stopped she couldn't say it.

He stopped her and took her into his arms again, "I know, and no, you sure don't look like you were." He rubbed her back gently.

The Doctor finished up with the other two, they had escaped the crash with very minor injuries that didn't take long to fix. He had Tom finish up with them and returned to the command team. He knew that they wanted to know about the other baby. "Captain how are you feeling?" he asked, he wanted to make sure that she was well enough to stand.

"I've got a headache, but other than that pretty normal." She said. She'd taken Chakotay's hand.

The Doctor nodded, "than will you two please follow me?" They nodded and stood, they followed the Doctor into his office and to the other side of sickbay; they only paused for a moment to touch the little boy that had suddenly come into their life.

As they crossed into the Doctor's office he had begun to speak once more, "The other baby had suffered sever trauma, she must have been near the top of your uterus, and in the front. When you fell, I'm assuming into the consol she was stuck first." He stated, he turned and looked at them, Chakotay held Kathryn's arms tightly both to comfort her and to support her, tears had begun streaming down her cheeks again.

Chakotay spoke, "It was a girl?" he asked, his heart was breaking for Kathryn even more.

The Doctor paused and shook his head, "No, it _is _a girl." He moved aside and inside another incubator lay a tiny girl.

Chakotay went to the ground as he felt Kathryn's legs give out; he lowered her gently and pulled her closer to him. The tears became sobs of overwhelming joy. She just cried, Chakotay wrapped his arms around her tighter, "she's alive." He said, "We have both a daughter and a son. Did you hear that Kathryn a daughter and a son?"

After a long time she regained her strength, she managed to stand and went over to the incubator, the top was over it. She placed her hands on the glass. Amazed at the tiny human being inside, she looked up at the Doctor and amazed smile on her face, "thank you so much." She said. She hadn't even known about her just four hours before, but she was so deeply in love with her already.

The Doctor moved up behind the two parents, "I thought I'd lost her several times, but she's a fighter just like her mother." He stated. Chakotay too had placed his hand on the glass, he and Kathryn both looked up at the Doctor and smiled, then turned when they heard movement, it was B'Elanna and Seven.

They locked eyes and smiled, it was obvious that they'd just been given good news.

-=/\=-

A/N: if you've ever seen the show _I Didn't Know I was Pregnant _than you know that there are many women that get this kind of surprise, so there is a chance that it could have happened… just thought I'd explain that before I got people saying, "how the hell did she not realize!" or stuff like that. I also hope that you're enjoying it, I think I'll be adding at least one or two more chapters, we'll see.


	6. Adapting

Chapter Six: Adapting

-=/\=-

The sound of crying emanated though out the room, Kathryn's eyes opened and it took her brain a moment to realize exactly what was going on. She looked around and her eyes fell upon the incubator containing her little boy. She smiled, and pulled herself up off the biobed and walked carefully over to where her child lay. She carefully lifted him up whispering loving words to him. She made her way back to the biobed in time to see the Doctor walking towards her. She'd already checked his dipper and decided that, that wasn't the problem. "I think he's hungry." She stated looking up too him.

The Doctor nodded, due to the spontaneous birth she wasn't producing any breast milk but he had a plan. "Give me a moment," he stated and as he disappeared into the other room, he came out with some kind of device and a hypo spray. "Here, this will allow you to still breastfeed until you're producing your own milk." He asked the computer for a privacy screen so he could assist her in applying the device. It wasn't much more than a pouch that attached to her shoulder and had a tube that rested just under her nipple.

Once the feeding apparatus was applied he pressed a hypo spray into her neck, "this will also help try to get your body to begin producing your own milk." He said. Once everything medical had been taken care of he assisted her in getting the baby into the proper position. She closed her eyes as the sensation of her child latching on to her breast overcame her. Tears formed in her eyes, this was something she'd never thought she'd experience. The Doctor made sure to drape a blanket over her and the child, so that she could feed him.

As she was nursing she looked towards the Doctor, "when can I begin nursing her?"

"I believe that she'll be healthy enough in a couple of days." He smiled at her. It was obvious when the little boy was done nursing, a loud cry emanated from deep inside him. Kathryn moved him up to burp him, everything thing she was doing was instinctual, she hadn't had much experience with babies before but she guessed that caring for one was so deeply ingrained within humanity that it was second nature. Once the baby was satisfied the Doctor took him from her and placed him back into the incubator.

Before the Doctor left her to her own devices she wanted an answer to a question that was bothering her. "Doctor, how could I not have known?"

He paused, "I'm not sure, I'd suspect that you were carrying them very high and more towards the back of your uterus. I think that your weight loss might have had something to do with it as well. When you gained the weight back it was just assumed that it was because you were beginning to eat again. Don't think that I didn't notice." He looked her over letting her know that if she did something like that again she'd really be in for it. "Also you were under a lot of stress; you're not the only one that has had this happen, though not too often in this day in age, but once in a while." He stopped, "perhaps I should start doing bi-yearly physicals."

She looked at him and rolled her eyes, "No I don't think that will be necessary." She looked down, "had I even suspected that I was pregnant I would have come in." she looked towards her son, "I'm just happy that they're alright even though I received no prenatal care."

The Doctor nodded and disappeared into his office. He was going to release her for light duty in the morning but didn't want to tell her that just yet because he knew that she'd insist on being released that night.

-=/\=-

Kathryn sat at her desk, she had a ton of things to think about, she'd been cleared for light duty, meaning not much more than sitting at her desk, or sitting on the bridge, no crawling though the Jefferies tubes, which at the moment she didn't mind, after about the third padd she stood and started to pace. As of that morning she'd started producing milk, and her breasts felt heavy, they were also extremely tender the fabric of her bar was extraordinarily annoying. It was assumed that all women on the ship that had a child would breastfeed, it saved on replicator energy and it provided the children with the best food for them. Unlike in past centuries nearly all women were able to produce enough milk for their children due to their advanced medical care. She'd already fed the boy, and the Doctor had her pump some milk for the little girl, he wasn't teaching her to drink form a bottle, instead he was just simply placing it into her mouth though other means. He didn't want her to grow used to the nipple on a bottle and not drink from her mother.

She knew that she needed to talk with both Chakotay and B'Elanna; they were completely unaware of the fact that they were expecting and therefore they had nothing for one baby let alone two. The first person she needed to talk to was Chakotay, they needed to figure out exactly what they were going to do. They'd only been an official couple for three months, and hadn't even moved into the same quarters, and now they were a family. Everything was happening so fast, one day they were carefree, with the exception of their duty to Voyager, and enjoying just each other and then the very next day they were the proud parents of twins.

"Janeway to Chakotay," she stated as she hit her combadge.

-=/\=-

"Chakotay here, yes?" he asked. He was busy reading some reports while he sat on the bridge, there was still a lot of work that the crew was doing to gather up food stuffs, they'd also found that on one of the moons there was some deuterium and a few other raw materials that they needed.

"Could you please join me in my ready room?" was all she supplied. The feeling on the bridge was that of joy once they'd received news that all three were doing fine.

"Of Course, Mr. Tuvok you have the bridge." He said and made his way into the ready room.

-=/\=-

She turned on her heal as her chime rang, "come in." she smiled. Once he was inside she walked up to him and pulled him into a hug. He gladly embraced her.

"You wanted to see me?" he asked. He let go and took her at arms length, he looked her over again trying to figure out how she had carried twins for seven months without even pouching out in the front.

She laughed as she took note what he was doing, "I spent over an hour in front of the mirror trying to figure out the same thing, though the Doctor said that if I'd carried them longer it would have become obvious in the next three weeks."

He smiled at her and gave her one last look, then he asked, "so what did you want to seem be about?"

She motioned for him to follow her to her couch. Once they were comfortable she turned towards him, her knees just touching his. She smiled at him and took a deep breath, "I was just wondering what we were going to do, I mean I know neither one of us were thinking we'd have to make these decisions for a while, but, under the circumstances…" she paused has he took her hand into his.

"You're wondering where we go from here?" he looked into her eyes deeply.

She tiled her head and smiled with a nod. "Yes, I mean, things are just happening so fast." She looked down, "just the day before yesterday I wasn't the least bit concerned about our living arrangements, or about how I was going to provide for two other lives aside from myself, and now there are so many questions, so many unknowns." She looked back into his eyes and admitted something she very rarely admitted, "I guess I'm just scared." Who would have thought that the same woman that could transport alone to a Borg cube would be terrified when faced with what to do about two little babies?

He just smiled at her and pulled her into him, "It's alright Kathryn, we'll figure everything out, besides I couldn't be a more happy man, you've given me something that I'd almost given up ever having, a family." He placed a kiss on her forehead. "We don't need to make too many big decisions right away, after all there's enough room in your quarters for a couple of cribs, and as they get older we can remodel and make bedrooms for them."

She sighed and closed her eyes as she leaned into him. He was taking everything so well. "Whatever did I do to deserve you?"

"You were just you." He smiled at her; he loved the feeling of her being in his arms. He prayed that he would never have to face a day that he didn't have her.

-=/\=-

"Come on, shh, settle down sweetie." Kathryn's voice was low and quiet as she sat rocking a tiny little girl in her arms. It'd been two weeks since the surprise birth. The crew had managed to provide everything that she needed for the twins. She had come home after her shift several times to find gifts sitting out in front of her door.

She looked up as she heard someone at the door to the bedroom. It was Chakotay. She looked up at him exasperated. Their daughter who they'd named Tayanita or Taya for short, had been crying for the last hour, and it seemed like nothing she did helped. She'd tired feeding her, singing to her, holding her, walking her around but nothing seemed to settle her down. Chakotay reached out to take the screaming child. He wrapped her in his arms and amazingly she quieted down. Kathryn glared at him slightly. How was it that he was able to get her to quiet down within mere moments and she'd tired for over an hour to quiet her down.

"I guess she just wanted daddy," he smiled he sat down next to her on the bed. She looked a little hurt but the fact that her daughter didn't want her at the moment. "Hey, it's alright, when she's hungry it'll be all about you." He said trying to offer his support.

"I know," she was finding her hormones to be out of whack the Doctor had told her that she might have some emotional outburst, ups, and downs and at the moment she was most definitely having a down moment. She took a deep breath and tears began falling down her face. She stood up quickly walking towards the bathroom, "I'm sorry."

He quickly stood up and stopped her with his arm, "hey what is it?" he asked, he was careful not to jar his right arm where the baby was sleeping.

"I don't know." She said, "I'm just so" she looked down, "I don't know, just so overwhelmed." She slumped into the wall and brought her hands up to her face.

He knew that she hadn't gotten much sleep, as soon as one of the babies would be satisfied the other one would start to make a fuss. Then of course with the need for them to be on the bridge didn't leave much room for him to help her out, especially since at the moment she was breast feeding exclusively. He did the only thing he could think to do, with the arm that wasn't holding their daughter he pulled her into an embrace, "Hey, hey, things are going to be fine, we've been through way more difficult times then raising a couple of babies." He kissed her forehead as she sobbed into his shoulder.

-=/\=-

The next few weeks were a struggle as the command learned how to balance their lives as parents, leaders, and a couple. Things were beginning to settle down, Kathryn's emotions seemed to have settled down and they'd decided to move from breastfeeding to the bottle, it seemed the most logical. They both were still being fed her milk, but she'd started pumping so that she didn't have to be the soul individual to feed both of them. It was just becoming to impossible to balance her being the captain and a mother at the same time while trying to take full responsibility for feeding both children.

Chakotay had been thrilled when she'd made the decision to switch to the bottle. He had wanted so much to help her out and now he was able too. It also meant that others on the ship could assist with the feeding and care regimen as well. Kathryn now sat at her desk in her ready room; she looked up at the bassinets that were in there with her. She spent a great deal of time off the bridge these days, she didn't want the babies to be in the middle of the bridge, but she wanted to be close to them. She looked up when she heard her chime ring. "Come in" she said loud enough for the doors to open but not so loud as to wake the babies up.

B'Elanna crossed the threshold of her ready room, she looked a bit unsure. The young woman paused for a moment and smiled as she looked at the two little ones sleeping soundly. She then turned to Kathryn, "Captain, I thought I should come and inform you as to my condition in person, before you found out through the grapevine."

Kathryn narrowed her eyes and looked the young woman over, a huge smile crossed her lips, "B'Elanna, are you?" she had stood and walked in front of the half Klingon. "Pregnant?"

A grin crossed the younger woman's face, "yes, I am," her excitement was almost uncontainable.

Kathryn took B'Elanna's hands into hers, "Congratulations" she than pulled the younger woman into her arms for a hug.

"Thank you so much" she smiled as she was embraced. The sweet moment was broken by a while, followed by another cry. Kathryn sighed and let go of B'Elanna and turned to towards the bassinets, "Well mommy to be. Care to help?"

"Of course" B'Elanna then lifted up their little boy, they'd named him, Dakota.

She looked as Kathryn handed her a bottle, she motioned to the couch and the two women sat down and began feeding them. B'Elanna smiled down to the little boy, her mind thinking how wonderful it was going to be in just a few months to have one of her own.

-=/\=-

A/N sorry for all those that were expecting Chapter 7 or who read chapter seven and became confused... I accidently posted a chapter for a different story to this one. The Chapter 7 that was posted here was actually for the story To See You Again, and well obviously didn't follow this story very well!

I am very very sorry for the confusion and I will try to get the real chapter 7 for this story as soon as possible. Once again I'm very sorry for my mistake, I have already corrected the problem and the disembodied chapter has been posted to its correct story!

Sabrina


	7. Reality Check

Chapter Seven: Reality Check

-=/\=-

Kathryn woke to a sudden jolt as the ship rocked. She sat up quickly assessing what was going on. Chakotay too was awake, and the sound that met their ears was that of both their babies crying. The ship rocked again, both of them were up and out of bed within seconds. Kathryn had her uniform on in record time; she looked to her right and saw that he too was dressed.

She made her way out of the bedroom towards the nursery and was knocked down when the ship rocked again. She winced as pain shot up her arm when she landed, ignoring it she quickly stood again, Chakotay had already made it to the nursery, they'd gone over this moment in their minds many times, but this was the first time they'd been faced with a crisis.

Kathryn watched as Chakotay pressed a few buttons and she watched helplessly as her children vanished within the shimmering blue light. She caught herself in the doorway as the ship rocked once more. It only took her a moment to compose herself, when she heard the sound of the Doctor, "I've got them." That was all she needed to know.

The two of them quickly hurried for the bridge, in the corridor she was knocked down again, the pain came back this time far worse, but it'd have to wait. She grabbed her arm as Chakotay hoisted her up; they were in the turbo lift and on the bridge within moments.

-=/\=-

"Report" Kathryn barked as she entered the bridge, her arm was killing her but she knew she had a duty to the ship, her crew, and her children.

"Three ships have just decloaked off our starboard bow." Harry informed.

"They are not responding to hails." Tuvok supplied.

"Mr. Paris evasive maneuvers," The ship rocked violently once more this time several consoles exploded, she found herself on the floor of the lower deck of the bridge when she'd been standing on the upper deck. She felt blood trickling from her forehead as she pulled herself up off the ground; she managed to get to her seat. She looked to her right; thankfully Chakotay had made it safely to his seat. She stilled herself, "Mr. Tuvok, return fire." She stated.

Several shots were fired from the phasers, "Direct hit no damage to their shields." Tuvok stated from tactical. The ship rocked again "our shields are down to 40%"

Harry then supplied some much appreciated information, "their ships don't appear to be able to go faster than warp seven."

"Mr. Paris, set a course away from here, warp eight." She stated, the ship jumped as they entered warp speed.

Kathryn took a deep breath and relaxed back into her chair when Tuvok supplied a bit of good news, "they are not pursuing."

"I want all information we gathered on those ships, there will be a meeting in one hour." She went to stand but felt dizzy she grabbed her seat with her arm and let out a stifled cry not wanting to let anyone know how much pain she was in. Tom looked back at her, "Captain perhaps you should go to sickbay." He stated realizing how deep the gash on her head was.

"I'm fine Mr. Paris, it's just a scratch." She snapped back as she squared her shoulders.

"I think it's more than that," Chakotay stated, he'd managed to look at her eyes and they were pinned even in the low light of the bridge.

She turned and looked at him, "I'm fine" she stated though her voice wasn't very convincing. She wanted to study the information that they had just gathered on the aliens that had attacked her ship. She turned to walk towards her ready room and he grabbed her by her right arm, she let out an agonizing cry as pain ran through it. It was so strong that her legs weekend and she fell to the ground.

He let go of her quickly, he hadn't realized that her arm had been injured. Kneeling down next to her he hit his combadge. "Bridge to sickbay medical emergency," He realized just how bad things were when he looked at her, the gash was farther back on her face then he thought and her hair was matted with blood. Tom had come over with a medkit. He scanned her and thankfully a medical support team arrived on the bridge to take her to sickbay. She was starting to drift in and out of consciousness.

He watched as she vanished in the lift being carried away. He then turned back to what needed to be done. "Damage report?"

Tuvok began listing causalities and the damages the ship had suffered. There was a fare amount of damage it was becoming obvious that they were going to need to find somewhere that was safe to conduct repairs. Thankfully no one had been killed in the attack, but he was sure sickbay was inundated.

-=/\=-

Kathryn's mind startled awake at the sound of babies crying; she tired sitting up only to find herself being restrained. She locked eyes with the doctor, "my babies?" she was worried, she momentarily had forgotten about what had happened. She was merely in the moment.

"They're fine, just really upset about the current sleeping conditions," he assured her. He pressed a hypo spray into her neck; he looked up at Tom who had followed her down. There were more than enough people in sickbay to keep them all busy. "Prep her." He stated as he made his way to another crewmember that was injured.

-=/\=-

Sea grey eyes opened to see the face of Chakotay looking down at her. "Hey there." He smiled, he was holding her hand.

"Hi" she stated groggily. After a few moments everything that had been going on hit her. "The ship?" she asked sitting up.

"We're going to need to find somewhere to buckle down, but we're fine." He brushed the hair that was now clean out of her face.

She nodded and swallowed, "do we know who attacked us?"

"Seven believes that we were attacked by what she calls species 6873. Apparently they are a nomadic species that is highly prevocational, and they will attack anyone that they feel they can get the better of." He filled her in, "Seven has also been able to give us the shield frequency so that we can detect them before they're right on top of us." He was letting her know that everything was taken care of.

She nodded; she looked towards where the Doctor was standing. "I'm I alright?" she asked, she wanted to get back to work as soon as possible.

He nodded, "I've healed your concussion and your broken arm, you may have a headache and some weakness in your arm, but you should be fine." She stood up and he stopped her, "I don't want you working all night,"

"Don't worry Doctor; I'll make sure that we come by for the babies, and to get some sleep in a few hours." Chakotay stated letting him know that he wasn't going to take any guff from Kathryn.

She made sure to stop by and check on her children before she left, she needed to be caught up to speed with everything that the crew new about the attack. She also needed to check the casualty, and damage reports herself. She trusted her crew immensely but it made her feel far better knowing that things were well herself.

-=/\=-

Kathryn yawned as she placed the data padd that she was reading down on her coffee table. She rubbed her neck, she was exhausted, she'd at least gotten a report from Harry that they found a moon that had a magnetic field that voyager could rest in so that they could repair the ship. For now they were safe, but once again the reality of their situation hit her. They were far from home, in a very hostile area of space, and now not only did she have the adults that were serving on her ship, mostly by choice, but she had three children, two of her own, and another officer expecting a child.

The children had no choice to be on a starship, and like everyone else they most certainly didn't have a choice about being in the Delta Quadrant. The reality of their life weighed heavily on her mind. She sighed it was getting close to time to take care of her children's needs, she could feel it.

She was about to go into her restroom to take care of her personal issue when the chime rang. She sighed in frustration; she hoped that it wasn't someone that was going to be long winded. "Come in" the exasperation could be heard in her voice. Thankfully it was Chakotay; he was the one person that wouldn't mind if she took care of what she needed too. "Before you say anything, I'm just about done, I just have to take care of something first." She pointed to her obviously swollen breasts.

He smiled, "you know me too well," he walked over to her, "would you like some help?" he asked.

She giggled, "sure if you want." She was being slightly flirty, but really not in the mood to do much more then take care of her needs and then go to sleep.

He helped her remove her jacket, and her turtle neck; he tickled her sides purposely as he removed it. She sighed slightly. He smiled, and then thought about something, "computer place privacy seal on the door."

She tried not to laugh, that would be rather awkward for anyone to walk in on her alone doing what she was doing, but for them to walk in on both of them, that would be really embarrassing for all parties. "Thanks, I always forget about that, that's why I usually disappear into there." She pointed to the bathroom.

After a little while, she had a fair amount of food for the babies to be added to the collection that she already had. She was trying to clean up everything when Chakotay placed his hand on her thigh. She sighed and closed her eyes; oh she was beginning to debate how tired she was. Opening her eyes quickly she looked at him and placed her hand on his stalling him. "We can't, the Doctor said six weeks, and most certainly _**not**_ in my ready room." She pushed her way up off the couch, pulling her clothes back on.

She hated telling him that but she really was very tired, and she'd been warned by the Doctor not to do anything for six weeks. She could see the hurt and disappointment on his face. "I know, I want to too, but it's only two more weeks, besides I'm really tired." He nodded and made his way to her, he wrapped her in a loving embrace and kissed her very passionately. She almost gave in but she knew better. Stepping away from him breathless she simply said, "Let's go get our babies and go home."

"Alright you win cold shower for me tonight." This made her laugh. He removed the privacy lock and they made their way to sickbay. She'd made sure to place the babies' milk into her cooling unit for later. After collecting their children they retired for the evening. Kathryn was out very shortly after her head hit the pillow.


End file.
